Question: “How can I forgive those who have offended me?”

Answer: At some point we have all been hurt, offended and sinned against us. How should we respond when such offenses occur? According to the Bible, we are to forgive. Ephesians 4:32 says; “Before, be kind to one another, merciful, forgiving one another, as God also forgave you in Christ.” Similarly, Colossians 3:13 states, “… bearing with one another, and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. As Christ forgave you, so do you too ”. The key in both passages of Scripture is that we must forgive other believers, just as God forgave us. Why do we forgive? Because we have been forgiven! Our forgiveness of others should reflect God’s forgiveness of us.

To forgive those who sin against us, we must first understand God’s forgiveness. God does not automatically forgive everyone without preconditions; if he did, there would be no lake of fire in Revelation 20: 14-15. Forgiveness, properly understood, implies repentance on the part of the sinner and love and grace on the part of God. Love and grace are there, but repentance is often lacking. So the Bible’s command that we forgive one another does not mean that we ignore sin. It means that we gladly, gracefully, and lovingly extend forgiveness to those who repent. We are always ready to forgive when given the opportunity. Not just seven times, but “seventy times seven” times (Matthew 18:22). Refusing to forgive a person who asks shows resentment, bitterness, and anger, and none of these are the traits of a true Christian.

Forgiving those who sin against us requires patience and tolerance. The church is mandated to “be patient with all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14). We should be able to overlook personal slights and minor offenses. Jesus said, “Whoever strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also to him” (Matthew 5:39). Not all “slaps” need an answer.

Forgiving those who sin against us requires God’s transforming power in our lives. There is something deep in fallen human nature that thirsts for revenge and urges us to pay in kind. Naturally, we want to cause the same kind of injury to the one who mistreated us: tit for tat seems fair. In Christ, however, we have been given the power to love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless those who curse us, and pray for those who harm us (see Luke 6: 27-28) . Jesus gives us a heart that he is willing to forgive and that will work toward that purpose.

When we see the enormous mercy of God in forgiving us ALL of our transgressions, we realize that we have no right to withhold this grace towards others. We have sinned infinitely more against God than anyone can sin against us. The parable of Jesus in Matthew 18: 23-35 is a powerful illustration of this truth.

God promises that when we come to Him for forgiveness, He grants it to us freely (1 John 1: 9). The forgiveness we grant should have no limits, in the same way that God’s forgiveness is unlimited (Luke 17: 3-4).